Pet Peeves
The most annoying things ever. It's no mystery why that strange yet wise hermit lives at the top of the mountain in seclusion...
1. People who drive slower than I do - I didn't think it was humanly possible, but apparently it is. If their car is 30 years old and rusted to no end then I can understand. But what about those who are driving fairly new cars? No excuses! Move it!
2. Tiny white collar workers in monster SUV's. If you're driving a truck or SUV, you'd better be hauling around lumber, furniture, tools, or fertilizer. Why does a 4' 8" 90 lb. desk jockey need to drive a Hummer? Get over your Napoleon complex on the roads, people. If you want to feel safer on the road, then pay attention and drive safer. The counter for that would be, "well, other people don't drive safely and so I could still get hurt." If you pay attention and are savvy enough to avoid the accident, you won't get hurt!
3. Drivers with the phones glued to their ears. Does this even need explanation? Spend the 20 bucks and get a bluetooth, already! People say they can't afford bluetooth. Well, maybe you shouldn't be spending money for cell phones and cell phone service, then. A wise man once said, "there is no phone call that is so important that I have to risk my life and the lives of my passengers for." -Bernard Hume. Hang up and drive, you frakking morons.
4. Lazy people. Everybody hates lazy people, but to what extreme? I can't stand those people who take the elevator 1 floor up when they have nothing to carry. I do it all the time, but I'm lugging around 30 lbs. of gear with me everywhere. For those people lugging around an extra 30 lbs. of fat, maybe they wouldn't have the fat if they just took the staircase 1 flight up!
5. Politicians. They're all the same, they all lie, no one is different than the other. Some look better than others on TV, but that's about where the differences end. In the end, the rich and powerful will always stay in power and the poor and ordinary will remain that way. People get so heated over political discussion it's retarded! It's like vehemently arguing over which is more blue? Blue or Navy blue? Or sky blue? Who cares, they're all blue!
6. Smokers. Everyone has the right to jump off a building, but nobody has the right to drag a handful of people with them. Smokers should feel free to rip their own lungs out if they wish. But why impose that cruel punishment on those of us who actually enjoy breathing clean air? Maybe non-smokers should randomly walk around and strap an oxygen mask on random smokers they see on the street to force them to breathe clean air whether or not they like it or want to.
7. Lazy whiners. Whining is fine. I think we're all entitled to doing that as long as we have diligence to back it up. But for those who just sit around and don't do their jobs and whine about it? Shut up and do your job!
8. Puck hogs and those who never want to change shifts. Hey, puck hog! There are other people playing, too, you know. Care to share? Skate or get the frak off the ice.
9. Dumb law enforcers. Shouldn't it be a good idea for law enforcers to take common sense tests before being allowed to join? These people have real power. Shouldn't logical reasoning and common sense be a prerequisite?
10. Last, but not least, the passive aggressive person. Why cloud your true motives behind social etiquette? Why be a wolf in sheep's clothing? If you're going to be mean and intimidating and bully people around, do it with authority. At least other people will know where you're coming from. You don't see Darth Vader strutting around in a Barney suit asking people politely to do his bidding. No! He wears a black scary mask and cape and if you defy him he'll strangle you or slice your arm off. Be true to yourself.
1. People who drive slower than I do - I didn't think it was humanly possible, but apparently it is. If their car is 30 years old and rusted to no end then I can understand. But what about those who are driving fairly new cars? No excuses! Move it!
2. Tiny white collar workers in monster SUV's. If you're driving a truck or SUV, you'd better be hauling around lumber, furniture, tools, or fertilizer. Why does a 4' 8" 90 lb. desk jockey need to drive a Hummer? Get over your Napoleon complex on the roads, people. If you want to feel safer on the road, then pay attention and drive safer. The counter for that would be, "well, other people don't drive safely and so I could still get hurt." If you pay attention and are savvy enough to avoid the accident, you won't get hurt!
3. Drivers with the phones glued to their ears. Does this even need explanation? Spend the 20 bucks and get a bluetooth, already! People say they can't afford bluetooth. Well, maybe you shouldn't be spending money for cell phones and cell phone service, then. A wise man once said, "there is no phone call that is so important that I have to risk my life and the lives of my passengers for." -Bernard Hume. Hang up and drive, you frakking morons.
4. Lazy people. Everybody hates lazy people, but to what extreme? I can't stand those people who take the elevator 1 floor up when they have nothing to carry. I do it all the time, but I'm lugging around 30 lbs. of gear with me everywhere. For those people lugging around an extra 30 lbs. of fat, maybe they wouldn't have the fat if they just took the staircase 1 flight up!
5. Politicians. They're all the same, they all lie, no one is different than the other. Some look better than others on TV, but that's about where the differences end. In the end, the rich and powerful will always stay in power and the poor and ordinary will remain that way. People get so heated over political discussion it's retarded! It's like vehemently arguing over which is more blue? Blue or Navy blue? Or sky blue? Who cares, they're all blue!
6. Smokers. Everyone has the right to jump off a building, but nobody has the right to drag a handful of people with them. Smokers should feel free to rip their own lungs out if they wish. But why impose that cruel punishment on those of us who actually enjoy breathing clean air? Maybe non-smokers should randomly walk around and strap an oxygen mask on random smokers they see on the street to force them to breathe clean air whether or not they like it or want to.
7. Lazy whiners. Whining is fine. I think we're all entitled to doing that as long as we have diligence to back it up. But for those who just sit around and don't do their jobs and whine about it? Shut up and do your job!
8. Puck hogs and those who never want to change shifts. Hey, puck hog! There are other people playing, too, you know. Care to share? Skate or get the frak off the ice.
9. Dumb law enforcers. Shouldn't it be a good idea for law enforcers to take common sense tests before being allowed to join? These people have real power. Shouldn't logical reasoning and common sense be a prerequisite?
10. Last, but not least, the passive aggressive person. Why cloud your true motives behind social etiquette? Why be a wolf in sheep's clothing? If you're going to be mean and intimidating and bully people around, do it with authority. At least other people will know where you're coming from. You don't see Darth Vader strutting around in a Barney suit asking people politely to do his bidding. No! He wears a black scary mask and cape and if you defy him he'll strangle you or slice your arm off. Be true to yourself.
posted by V-Hume at 11:07 PM
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