Sunday, November 11, 2007

Batman vs. Spiderman

Not like this is a thought-provoking insightful and deep entry, but something that just crossed my mind recently. I've often argued about the greatest or most talented super hero out there. My tendancies towards dark imagery, inner brooding and festering anger without sickening brutality would make me a likely fan of Batman's. Right on! And who would we compare him to? Well, since the most recent Spiderman movie has just come out on DVD, why not pick on him? Let's compare.

Name: Bruce Wayne vs. Peter Parker
The mere name just gives it away. Peter is such a boy scout name (not that there's anything wrong with that). But just imagine someone saying 'I got my butt kicked by Peter' (what? Did he beat you to death with his library book?) compared to "I got my butt kicked by Bruce". Bruce sounds similar to brute, and getting your butt kicked by a brute is likely and understandable.
Edge: Batman.

Symbol of fear: Batman vs. Spiderman
Bats suck blood, spiders suck out innards. Both are quite gruesome when you think of it. Bats are a lot harder to kill; step on a spider and he's history. But although spiders may be easier to kill, most people are freaked out by spiders.
Edge: Spiderman.

Nickname: The Dark Knight vs. The Wallcrawler
Nuff said.
Edge: Batman

Profession: Multi-billionaire and head of his own mega corporation vs. photographer/journalist
Do we really even have to think about this?
Edge: Batman

Powers: None vs. ability to scale vertical and inverted surfaces, heightened sensitivity to danger.
Batman is just a regular kick-ass guy. Spiderman actually has super powers.
Edge: Spiderman

Costume: Black cape and cowl with black body armour vs. bright red and blue skin-tight long johns.
If the goal of your costume is to invoke fear, bright colours aren't going to do the trick unless your perpatrator is a sensitive fashion designer. Batman's costume, however, sounds a lot like Death's without the scythe.
Edge: Batman

Leading Lady: Catwoman vs. Mary Jane.
Batman's woman dresses up in a black skin tight cat suit. Spidey's Mary Jane has red hair.
Edge: Batman

Gadgets: Batmobile, batarang, bat suit, utility belt vs. Wrist device that spins webs. Batman does get to cruise around in a sweet ride that can roll over just about anything. But in this day and age, do we really want another monster-like SUV tearing up the roads and polluting the air? I'm pretty sure the Batmobile doesn't run on electric batteries. On the other hand, Spidey's web-swinging is environmentally friendly. It might leave webs caught on the tops of sky scrapers, leaving the window cleaners with job security. But really, how many chics can you take home like that?
Edge: Draw