Go Climb a Mountain
Hahng Sahn, in Cantonese is literally translated to meaning "climb a mountain". But we all know it really means when we have to pack up incense, roast duck or pork, wine, 3 sets of chopsticks, 3 small wine glasses, 3 soup spoons, fake paper money, a metal pail, and matches, and drive to the side of a rather steep hill (where one wrong move and you're history) where we set up all the food and utensils, bow before a grave of our ancestors 3 to 9 times, and burn the fake paper money. Kind of a weird tradition, but this is what we do to honour our ancestors. That is, when we have the time.
Recently, I was talking to Dad on the phone and I was chastised for not performing my worshipping duties. Nevermind the fact that I'm about 2,000 miles away and only have been home 2-3 times in the past 4 years. But he's right. I should make more of an effort to go with him to honour and worship my ancestors when I'm home. I promised to go the next time I return.
But why all the fuss? Basically, because I haven't gone in about 4 years, the last time I was home for an extended period of time. But I think there's more to it than just paying respects. See, Dad recently had a really big scare; he had a colon polyp that was discovered and for a long while he was afraid he might have colon cancer (the sensible person would decide to quit smoking at this point). To our huge relief, we discovered that the polyp was benign. I believe this experience put Dad more in touch with his mortality.
Let's face it, Dad has fewer days ahead than he does behind him; he's around 70. When he goes, he doesn't want to be forgotten; he wants to be remembered, honoured, and respected just as his father was after he died. And that's fine because that's something we all want; nobody wants to be forgotten. However, seeing his children (I'm guilty as well) being "too busy" to pay their respects to their grandparents is very hurtful to Dad. Because not only are we being derilict in our duties, but in his mind, if his children don't have time for their deceased grandparents, they won't have time for their parents, either. And they certainly won't make the time for the grandchildren to pay their respects.
In essence, he will be forgotten. And that is the worst fate that can come to pass to the deceased.
So the next time I'm home, I'll definitely go with Dad and climb a mountain. We'll burn incense, and pay our respects and eat good food. Even as a busy overworked and underpaid medical resident, taking 2 or 3 hours out of the last 4 years is definitely not a problem.
It shouldn't be for anyone.
Recently, I was talking to Dad on the phone and I was chastised for not performing my worshipping duties. Nevermind the fact that I'm about 2,000 miles away and only have been home 2-3 times in the past 4 years. But he's right. I should make more of an effort to go with him to honour and worship my ancestors when I'm home. I promised to go the next time I return.
But why all the fuss? Basically, because I haven't gone in about 4 years, the last time I was home for an extended period of time. But I think there's more to it than just paying respects. See, Dad recently had a really big scare; he had a colon polyp that was discovered and for a long while he was afraid he might have colon cancer (the sensible person would decide to quit smoking at this point). To our huge relief, we discovered that the polyp was benign. I believe this experience put Dad more in touch with his mortality.
Let's face it, Dad has fewer days ahead than he does behind him; he's around 70. When he goes, he doesn't want to be forgotten; he wants to be remembered, honoured, and respected just as his father was after he died. And that's fine because that's something we all want; nobody wants to be forgotten. However, seeing his children (I'm guilty as well) being "too busy" to pay their respects to their grandparents is very hurtful to Dad. Because not only are we being derilict in our duties, but in his mind, if his children don't have time for their deceased grandparents, they won't have time for their parents, either. And they certainly won't make the time for the grandchildren to pay their respects.
In essence, he will be forgotten. And that is the worst fate that can come to pass to the deceased.
So the next time I'm home, I'll definitely go with Dad and climb a mountain. We'll burn incense, and pay our respects and eat good food. Even as a busy overworked and underpaid medical resident, taking 2 or 3 hours out of the last 4 years is definitely not a problem.
It shouldn't be for anyone.
posted by V-Hume at 12:25 AM
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